Top 10 Don’t Dos at a Gay Leather Bar

It’s wonderful that you are ready to go to a Gay Leather Bar.  You got your Leather Harness and your Jock Strap on, and you’re headed out to the Gay Leather Bar for the first time.  But there are a few things to make sure you DON’T DO before and while you are there, to make sure you and others have a fun and safe environment:

  1. Don’t stare – Yes, someone is getting a blowjob.  Yes, someone is being fucked on a swing.  Yes, some guys are walking around in just jockstraps.  THAT’S AMAZING.  But if you keep staring at them, it won’t be.  So look, admire, or even partake.  But please don’t gawk and stare.
  2. Don’t judge – Not everyone will look like a model, and that is what’s awesome about Gay Leather Bar culture.  So if you see someone that isn’t of your taste, or folks taking in action beyond your own limits, please keep your judgments and comments to yourself.  This includes body language. Everyone is there to have fun and should feel free and safe to do so
  3. Don’t harass performers – Whether it’s dancers, go go boys, leather and/or rope demonstrators, please let the artists perform and do not harass them with inappropriate touching and overzealous questions.  Like any Dom / Sub relationship, make sure there is respect.  Feel free though to approach the demonstrators after their act if you have additional questions
  4. Footnote to #3 – If you are in a Dark Room, touching is encouraged
  5. Don’t lick without permission – For those Eager Beavers out there, please ask for permission before licking anyone’s anything (boots, butts, etc.)
  6. Don’t freak out – Yes there will be sex, and bondage, and whipping, and many things you may never have witness before.  But please don’t freak out.  Just watch, learn and enjoy
  7. Don’t have sex just anywhere – Though Gay Leather Bars tend to push the boundaries beyond what most places will allow, please follow the local rules on public sex.  Except for Dark Rooms, it’s likely that you should not be having sex in public areas
  8. Don’t be afraid of women – Yes some ladies do go to Gay Leather Bars, as the community welcomes all gender identities.  Some bars may explicitly cater to a demographic, but always be welcoming to those with different gender identities
  9. Don’t assume there will be lockers – Carry your own pouch or bag just in case.  VergeWear Shop carries some convenient arm bands for you to hold wallets, keys and your phone as well
  10. Don’t assume Dominance – Meet someone who seems like they are Subservient? Doesn’t mean they are yours.  Trust and subservience must be earned


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